THE title of an aptly named chapter in Bourdain's latest raw-edged, straight-shooting, epitome of his rise and consequential descents in the world of food, has so far been the most revealing and personal addition to my culinary knowledge.

One; it's truthful. At least as far as Bourdain tells it. (And he amasses oodles of common sense in his observations that are too hard to deny. No chef-wannabe is going to truly make it in the kitchen starting at the sweet age of 60, unless you have a steel back, or have a serious amount of endorphins to keep you energized through the blisters, cuts and general running around that will, inevitably happen. In which case, I both hate and envy you.)

Two; Personally invested in my fantasy of whipping up liquidized olive spheres and and the like, a la gastronomical god Ferran Adria of now closed El Bulli this was a good time to really see what someone from the industry had to say about when it's too late to become a chef, if it ever is: "I am frequently asked by aspiring chefs, dreamers young and old, attracted by the lure of slowly melting shallots, or delusions of Food Network stardom, if they should go to culinary school. I usually give a long, thoughtful, and qualified answer. But the short answer is no."

Surprisingly, I am not crushed by this little rebuttal on my career fantasy. Moreso, I am.. redirected.

Further down from that statement, Bourdain explains that he is not antagonising the idea of going to culinary school, he's just saying that "you, reading this, right now, would probably be ill-advised to attend and are, in all likelihood, unsuited for The Life in any case".

He's right. While I'm still under thirty I know you're tempted, but don't ask. It's the prospect of spending hundred of thousands of dollars to go to a culinary school that does not seem justifiable. Especially now that I know it's not gonna guarantee me a job as a chef, even if i do land an amazing internship in the hottest kitchens in the world. Likely employers he says, are country clubs and hotel kitchens, so I took the liberty of asking the only place in Brunei, that has both those categories in one location, if I could spend some time behind the scenes to live out my weird little dream and see what it's like to be on The Other Side.

A late Saturday afternoon last week saw me being escorted around the vast compound and kitchens of the Empire Hotel and Country Club (shameless plug right there!) by Chef Ajoy of newly revamped outlet, Spaghettini.

Having paid my temporary dues in a tiny, filthy, oil slicked kitchen at a Chinese takeaway in Australia, I was a kid in a proverbial candy store as I was introduced to the different kitchen staff, decked in a too-clean kitchen uniform, my camera a dead give-away to this culinary impostor.

So just what did I learn? Teamwork is very important. Speed. Skill. Organisation. Trying my hand at making the night's gnocchi supply, the awkwardness of my hands was no match for that of skilled pasta chef, Noreen, who was whipping out those dough balls like nobody's business. Earlier on, I saw her painstakingly line sheets of handmade cannelloni with squid ink pasta strips.

She makes 180 pieces of gnocchi everyday in preparation for the night's supply, so it came as no surprise when the executive chef Ajoy tells me they have to make new orders for ingredients every couple of days from the purchasing department.

With their new menu testing the waters of molecular gastronomy, it was also no surprise when he tells me that their most expensive ingredient right now are their Black Truffle and Chanterelle Mushroom supplies from France. One can only expect these lavish ingredients to be locked tightly in some dark vault, to be brought out for the quick chop and then returned to their thrones.

This world of hotel cooking is such a far cry from the hell-fire that is a typical restaurant kitchen and though I certainly wouldn't say it's a walk in the park, it does beat slogging it out in an normal TGI Friday's or back-alley takeaway.

Next week will be the beginning of something called Culinary Chatter (starting with Chef Ajoy), where I have a quick chat to anyone who cooks, eats, writes, photographs, or has anything to do with food and the business around it.

Bon appetit in the meantime!The Brunei Times